Yami's Contemplation
by HotaruGFC
Summary: Yami trying to sort out what really happened in the cave with Charlotte. Sequel to Stuck. Rating mostly for language, because it's Yami...


It was meant to be a one time thing. Something done to pass the time while waiting for rescue, or a last hurrah in case rescue never came. He hadn't meant for it to be anything more when he had asked her. That's why he had been so abrupt, so crude. Sure he had thought she was pretty since the first time they met, since he had somehow broken a curse placed on her in childhood. He hadn't been sure he had done it, or how he had done it, but it had happened. And when they had first met again after that, she had thanked him, though he did not know what for.

And then they had been trapped in the cave together.

And everything had changed.

He hadn't meant it to change, but it had. Now he could not get her blue eyes out of his mind. That was a lie. He had thought of her often before then, but now she haunted his every waking moment.

He lit a cigarette and took a long slow drag, but even that reminded him of the long slow kisses she had given him, or the long slow stroke of her tongue against his neck. He took another drag and tried to turn his mind to the text printed on the paper in his hands.

She was featured in an article about an attack on the other side of the kingdom. His squad had not been involved, though he had heard about it. The image of her made his heart skip a beat. He sighed, crumpled the paper and tossed it across the room.

It hadn't meant to be like this.

He had asked her if she wanted to fuck on a whim. He was surprised when he didn't die in that moment. She hadn't even used her magic against him that time. He had first thought it was because she was too flabbergasted by the question, by his crudeness in asking it. But the moment he had looked into her eyes, he knew the truth.

She wanted him. She needed him, but she didn't want to admit it.

She loved him.

And that thought both terrified and thrilled him.

And he realized that he wanted her too. Not just for a cheap thrill or to pass the time, but with a deep longing that he had never noticed before.

He knew she wasn't for him. She was a noble, born into the upper crust of the kingdom. He was a foreigner and a peasant, one with no family history to speak of. Not only that, she a colleague, the captain of the Blue Rose squad-an all female squad notorious for their hatred of men. And none hated men more than Charlotte Roselei-or so her reputation would have others believe. But she didn't hate him. She had told him as much.

He blew out a slow stream of smoke at the memory, blocking out the chaos that had erupted around him. He closed his eyes to the madness and let the memory of her body against his overwhelm his senses.

An explosion in the background as Luck and Magna fought, again disturbed his thoughts. He stood up and slammed his fist through the brick wall.

"Finral, Magna. Come with me." He ordered as he walked out of the room, not bothering to look if they had followed him.

He had to get her off his mind.

"What's up, Boss?"

"I take it since Magna's here too, you're not asking for a door to the bathroom."

"Nah, it's payday." He said, as if he had to remind them. He gestured to the wall, knowing Finral knew where he wanted to go.

The bar they ended up in was seedy as hell, but he liked it. It was as far from the stuck up halls and formal banquets he had to attend on occasion due to his position as possible. As far from her as he could possibly be. No noble would ever be caught dead in such a place.

As he threw his cards on the table-once more a losing hand, he wondered what she would think of him if she saw him in a place like this.

Dammit, he thought, as memories of her, and ideas of what he would like to do to her crept to the surface once more. He anted up once more and played though the hand. He lost again.

"Uh, Boss." Finral said from his side. "You might want to slow down. Don't you have a sword to pay off still?"

He wanted to throttle the young spacial magic user, but then he would be out a ride. Instead, he gave the kid some of his coin to keep watch over.

The rest of the night had gone about as well as the start, and Yami and Magna ended up in nothing but their civvies and their mantles, and not for the first time after a night of gambling.

As the cool night air hit his skin, more memories bubbled to the surface. Memories of the air in the cave, of the coolness of the stone against his back, and of her warm body straddling him in the darkness.

Gods, he wanted her.

"I see you lost your shirts again." a voice purred as they stepped through the portal and back into base. Vanessa was drunk again, but she hadn't yet passed out. She was stripped down nearly as much as he was, but that was not a surprise. She walked over flirtateously to him, swinging her hips in a way that caught his attention.

As he watched her, he wondered if she would be enough. He threw her over his shoulder as she approached, eliciting a drunken squeal of delight from the young woman and raised eyebrows from his other companions.

"Boss..." Finral started to say something, but was quickly silenced by the glare he tossed over his shoulder at the spacial mage.

It didn't help. Vanessa had passed out as soon as he had tossed her onto his bed. He looked at her vulnerable position and thought about taking her anyway. With the way she flirted with, well, everyone, he didn't think she would mind. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. As he hovered over the prone woman, blue eyes flashed in his mind, parted red lips and a soft face framed in silky blond hair that spilled over her breasts. His name on her lips rang through his ears.

He pushed away from the woman in his bed and sat on the edge. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

"Finral!" His voice boomed through the building. He looked at Vanessa, wondering if it might disturb her. She didn't even budge.

"Yes, Boss?" The shaggy haired young noble asked, poking his head in the door.

"Send me to the bath." He flicked ash onto the floor. Finral gave him a death glare.

"You could have walked there faster than it took me to get here, you know." He opened a portal beneath his captain, knowing that his argument was going to fall on deaf ears.

He splashed into the warm water and sank down into the steamy depths. He was starting to relax when Finral walked in a few minutes later.

"Is this about her?"

"What are you talking about." His tone was a warning.

"You know who and what I'm talking about, Yami. This is about Charlotte, isn't it?" Finral asked as he sank into the water across from his captain.

He inhaled deeply on his cigarette and blew the smoke across the bath to his second in command.

"What would you know about it?"

"I saw the two of you, remember? Bumping uglies in the cave? And I know enough about women..."

He let out a sharp bark of a laugh.

"I do. I know enough to see when people are in love with each other."

He rolled his eyes at the assessment.

"I'm not in love with her." He insisted.

"Yeah, right."

The captain gave his subordinate a death glare.

"Have you talked to her since, well, since?"

"Why would I do that? It was just for fun; it meant nothing."

Finral shook his head in disbelief.

"What I saw wasn't what two people do for fun, Yami."

He rolled his eyes and took another long drag, letting the smoke burn his lungs. It didn't burn nearly as much as her touch.

"You can't deny that she is rather into you. No matter what you might feel for her, that woman loves you for some reason, Boss."

He looked up to the ceiling and dipped his head back into the water so that his ears were submerged and he no longer had to listen to Finral's yammering. When he emerged, Finral was still talking.

"All I'm saying, Yami, are you even listening? Anyway. If you care about her, and I'm not saying that you do, only if." He stressed the hypothetical nature of his statement. "If you do care about her, you should tell her somehow."

He looked at the other man, who then decided he had overstayed his welcome.

Tell her? He couldn't tell her. They had spent far too much time cultivating a perfectly good hatred of each other in public. Well, she did anyway. He, on the other hand, used every opportunity he could to get under her skin. If word got out that he was... No, he wasn't.

It was just to pass the time, he told himself once more. But again, the smile she had given him as her golden hair lay spread about her, as he hovered above her kept popping into his mind and he felt a fire in his blood that had grown more difficult to control.

He got out of the tub, toweled off and went back to his room. Vanessa was still passed out on the bed. He contemplated waking her, alleviating some of the uncontrollable desire he felt building within. He watched Vanessa sleep for a moment, feeling nothing of the desire he had when he pictured Charlotte in his mind's eye.

He went to get a drink, only to find the rest of the squad had squandered their liquor allowance already. He sipped a glass of water.

Tell her how? He wondered. He couldn't get anyone else's help on the matter. He couldn't risk this getting out. But Finral knew already. And as unlucky as he was, Finral had a wealth of experience courting. As much as the spacial mage infuriated him with his cowardice at times, he did trust Finral. And Finral knew he would kill him if he betrayed him.

* * *

The next couple of days he spent in a funk, though he tried to keep up his normal routine-which pretty much consisted of threatening to kill his squad, taking a shit and lazing about in other ways. When he was in front of the others, he was fine. Their antics usually were enough to keep his mind off of things, off of her.

But when he was alone, she came soaring back to his thoughts.

He had to do something.

He had started to hear whispers among his team. Even they, as bull-headed as they are, were starting to notice. It didn't surprise him that Asta was the first. The kid was dense some times, especially with his own feelings, but he was learning. And his ability to detect ki was growing astronomically. He was sure the kid had felt a shift in him that he hadn't been able to control.

He lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, wondering if he was being as dense as the kid, himself.

"Why her?" he asked himself. "Of all the women I know, of all the women I could have fallen for... Why her?" He threw his arm over his eyes, praying the weight of it would drown his thoughts of her. But in the darkness, he could feel her lips on his skin again, hear her voice, her soft moans as they made love.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, but he had to admit it to himself now.

He hadn't just fucked her like he planned. Sure, it might have started out that way.

But no, they had made love.

He loved her. He couldn't deny it. He thought back, trying to pinpoint when it had first started, when he had first fell, but he could not. He could only remember little things, like sitting next to her despite empty seats elsewhere. She had always stiffened when he did so. He thought it was because she hated men, but now he realized, she had never done so when one of the others sat next to her. He remembered the first time he noticed, and how he had decided that he liked making her feel uneasy, that he had always wanted her to say... something, he guessed. True, he pushed the other captains too. He liked pushing buttons, even if it didn't make him any friends. Actually, he didn't. Not really, but he had done it so long that he couldn't stop now.

So he kept pushing.

And Charlotte was the easiest button to push.

"Well shit." he muttered as he realized what he had really been doing was flirting with her the entire time. "I'm too damn old for this crap."

He sat up and looked at the door. He didn't want to admit it, but Finral was right.

"What does that piece of shit know about women anyway?" He muttered to himself before he called for his vice captain, his voice echoing through the building.

He grabbed the younger man's collar and pulled him completely through the portal once Finral's head popped through.

"I need you to get me to the Blue Rose headquarters."

"What?"

"You heard me. And we need to get there undetected. I don't want to have to explain anything to anyone."

"Ah, oh, ok..."

"You can do it, right? A lech like you not having their base marked would be a disappointment."

Finral raised his hand to protest. He opened his mouth a couple of times before closing it again. As the captain looked at him, all thoughts of protest died on his lips.

"Yeah, fine. I can do it. But it's not because I'm a lech. I have to know how to get to all of the Magic Knight bases, for emergency purposes."

Yami didn't believe him, not entirely, but it didn't matter as long as he could do as commanded.

"But if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you planning to do once you're there?"

He hadn't exactly thought that far ahead. He could probably get to see her by feigning some official business. But then she might also be out on official business. And the thought of telling her directly-not many things terrified him, not any more, but telling her directly, well, that did.

"I'll figure it out when we get there. Worst case, you'll just be out a couple of trips. Come on."

Finral sighed as he connected to the mark he had placed outside the Blue Rose squad's headquarters and opened the portal.

In seconds they were face to face with a giant carved stone wall. He had only been the the Blue Rose's base a handful of times, but he had always been impressed by the structure. In his mine, it was one of the most beautiful buildings in all of the Clover Kingdom; its architecture echoing the strength and grace of its occupants.

He always felt out of place when he was here. But that was true of most of the fancy buildings where the nobles lived

The wall, though huge, was not completely solid. It was more of a latticework of stone allowing them to peer into the garden beyond. He knew it was far more secure than it looked, however, having been reinforced with magic. The scent of flowers wafted over the wall from the garden on the other side. The smell reminded him of her-heady and earthy with just a touch of, well it wasn't exactly rose. She smelled more like orange blossoms, at least she had that day.

He frowned at the structure and wondered where she might be, or even if she were there at all.

"So, now what?" Finral asked. He wished he hadn't needed to rely on the younger man for this. He hated others witnessing his indecision, his weakness.

He looked up at the top of the wall and realized he didn't know.. It wasn't so difficult of a climb. He could get over it easily, given the foot and handholds of the latticework. But the magical reinforcement might be a problem. He knew nothing of them. For a brief moment, he wished he had Asta's anti-magic with him, but he immediately regretted the idea. The kid would not be able to keep his mouth shut about any of this. The smell of roses from the other side of the wall was overwhelming his senses.

He took a long drag as he looked at the edifice. He shrugged before flicking the ash from his cigarette.

"Maybe you should have just written her a letter?" Finral suggested. He knew that the young spacial mage was just looking to be done for the day.

"My handwriting's crap. Besides, I don't know what I would say."

He took another deep inhale and breathed the smoke out slowly. Finral crossed his arms and tapped his foot in thought.

He looked back to the wall and the peeks of the garden beyond. Something caught his eye.

"Hey, Boss? Are those actual blue roses?" Finral placed his hands on the stone wall as he looked through. He pulled them back quickly as if they had shocked him.

"Yup." He had heard about the blue roses. Julius had told him about them, as he had instructed him on the origin of the names for all of the Magic Knight squads. Blue roses-the flower, not the squad-had been highly prized for their memory enhancing abilities.

"They are really rare." Finral said as he continued to stare. "And here they have an entire garden of them."

"People wiped them out in the wild, used their magic until the plant died."

"I heard they had magical properties."

"Get me one. I'll show you."

"Just how the hell?"

"You'll figure it out." He lit another cigarette and walked away from the fence. He leaned against the trunk of a tree while he watched his subordinate work out how to get a blue rose from inside a fence he could not enter. After some trial and error, Finral had managed to open a portal just big enough to withdraw one of the blue roses.

"They are bigger than I expected." Finral took a deep whiff of the flower's scent. "Huh."

He cocked an eyebrow at the younger man's confusion.

"I thought the roses were making all of that scent, but it doesn't smell at all."

"That's part of the magic." He took the bloom from Finral, slicing his thumb on one of the thorns. A droplet of red formed in the cut. "These flowers can be imprinted with a memory once they are cut."

He thought in as much detail as possible, of the cave. He tried to remember ever scrape of tongue against skin, the echo of their cries, the look on her face, the feel of being inside her, and, most importantly, her scent. He recreated the notes of her scent in exquisite detail-the oakmoss and amber, the rose and orange blossom. He rubbed the droplet of blood that had come forth from the scratch onto the edge of a brilliant blue petal. As he did so, the scent intensified and the color of the flower deepened from a bright blue, like the sky on a clear day, to a deep midnight blue, almost purple or black.

He held out the flower to Finral, whose eyes grew wide as he could now smell the scent of the flower.

"Now, we need to get it do her."

"You had no idea this was what you were going to be doing when we got here, did you?" Finral asked, taking the flower from his hand.

"Not the foggiest."

"So, where does this thing need to go?"

The pair scouted the perimeter of the large building and gardens, looking for any signs that she might be there. He finally spotted her through a large window overlooking the garden. It looked like an office or library of some sort. He watched her for a moment as she took her helmet off, revealing the tightly braided and coiled hair beneath. She sat heavily in a chair with her back to the window.

"Stupid layout." he muttered as he watched. He could not see who, but someone entered the room prompting her to get up and walk out of view.

"Now or never, Boss. Unless you want her to see." Finral prodded him. He began to hand over the flower-charged with his memories of their time together, but then he stopped. He felt like he wanted more, a calling card of sorts. He hoped she would know who it was from when she saw it. He hoped it would trigger the same memories in her, but he wanted to be sure. He tore a strip of fabric from his already tattered mantle-faded black with frayed golden trimming and quickly tied the strip around the rose's stem.

"Now."

Finral opened the portal, placing the outlet above the desk he could see from the window. Yami put his hand through and dropped the flower. And as quickly as he had made his mind up to come here, it was done.

"Shall we go then?" Finral asked as Yami continued to stare up at the window. He thought they should go. They should get back home before anyone finds them. They had already lingered too long.

But he also thought he needed to see her one more time.

As he watched, her golden head poked into view. She stopped as she reached the desk. She lifted the rose from its surface and brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply. When she brought the flower away from her face, she wore a broad grin.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Charlotte Roselei had had enough of the day. Her girls had fallen into in-fighting over some petty squabbles and all she wanted to do was soak in the bath alone. Unfortunately, the bath had been full of other members of the squad. Sol was following her around like a lost puppy, but all Charlotte wanted to do was to have some time to herself. She walked into her office and locked the door behind her.

"It's not like that will keep them coming, but at least they can't barge in." she muttered to herself as she collapsed into a plush chair near the window. She had plenty of other work to occupy her strewn across the desk, but she just needed a breather for a moment, a chance to quiet her senses.

The last few days had been a whirlwind of emotions for her. She was still coming to terms with them all. She was certain her girls had noticed something different since she had been rescued from the cave in. She had tried to be normal, but she hadn't convinced herself everything was normal.

She closed her eyes, hoping for some peace, but as had happened so often the last few days, he popped back into her mind.

A knock on the door cut any exploration of her memories short as she groaned in frustration. It was Sol, asking about something she could have clearly handled herself. Charlotte sighed and gave the woman explicit instructions once again, as well as instructions for her to be left alone. She leaned heavily against the door and sighed. She listened for the other woman's footsteps to fade away. Locking the door once more, she crossed the room to her desk.

The paperwork was still sitting on top of it, but it was no longer alone.

A large blue rose-so blue it was nearly black-lay across the top.

She knew it had not been there when she had first entered into the room. She looked around suspiciously, wondering if someone had infiltrated her sanctuary. She picked up the flower and was met with the strong scent of cheap booze and cigarettes overlaying an earthy smell that warmed her in a way that no other scent ever had. She brought the rose to her nose and inhaled deeply of the scent. She blushed as memories flooded her mind and triggered a physical response she could not control. She could not help the grin she could feel on her face as she pulled the flower away.

"Yami." She brushed the velvety petals before looking out the window. She knew it must have been him. The magic in the blue roses could only trigger a memory so strongly if that memory had been shared. As she looked at the petals, they turned the light blue of the mantle she wore. It was only then that she noticed the strip of fabric wound and tied around the flower's stem. She loosened the knot and ran the fabric between her fingers. It was a dull faded black, frayed on the edge, with broken gold trimming. She looked at her mantle, pristine and complete, and knew exactly what it was she held in her hands. She pushed up her cuff and tied the strip around her wrist.

She smiled as she pulled the cuff down to cover it, but she could not stop touching the place where it wound around her flesh. She was not sure why he had given her a piece of his mantle, but she could hazard a guess as to what it meant

She picked up the rose once more and smelled it. It smelled like all the other flowers in the garden now, an overwhelming, heady scent of rose, but barely, ever so faintly, could she detect the smell of liquor and cigarettes.


End file.
